Becoming 70
Photo by Craig Thomas on Unsplash
October 11, 2024
I can’t say how old I’ve felt at different ages—because, what does “old” or “young” feel like?—but I remember some of my thoughts upon approaching decade birthdays. I barely noticed 40; I had a toddler and an infant then. Fifty was kind of exciting and mysterious. Was I halfway to the end? More than halfway?
When I turned 59, a year and a half ago, I was hearing a lot about bucket lists. Though I didn’t exactly buy into the concept, I did want to challenge myself in new ways and realize some long-held dreams. As a 59th-birthday present to myself, I started taking violin lessons.
As I approach the next decade birthday, my perspective has shifted from what it was ten years ago. Whereas back then I wanted to get a head start on my third act and thus take some pressure off the Big Six-Oh, now I’m more interested in searching my past for clues to living more authentically and wisely into the future.
This week I upgraded to a paid subscription to Sari Botton’s Substack Oldster Magazine, even though just a day before I had vowed not to buy any new Substack subscriptions this month, reigning in my spending habits a bit. Why did I impulsively break that vow just one day into it? Especially given that Botton generously provides all the Oldster Magazine content free of charge?
One reason is that, by upgrading to a paid subscription, I know that I’m helping to pay contributors to the magazine and Botton herself for their work. (I already had a paid subscription to Botton’s Memoir Land.) I like contributing my share to writers whose work I read. Plus, the Annual payment option gives a 24 percent discount off the price of paying monthly.
The other reason I broke my vow is that Botton is planning to add new content for paid subscribers, a series called Pathway to 60. I couldn’t resist.
Note: As I’m writing this, Botton has just published the first installment, which is fascinating. Look for it at Oldster.
Like Botton, I’m obsessed with age, the universe of topics around aging, and apparently the birthdays ending in 9. Check out her Oct. 2 post, This is 59! At a decade plus six months ahead of her, I’m also going to write a series, which I won’t title Pathway to 70, because of course that would be stealing, but also because I’m planning to explore the decade since I was 59, while Botton says she will “write about the year leading up to my next decade, and my third act in life.”
Part of the shift in perspective I mentioned comes from having experienced a few years mostly free from job requirements and other people’s needs. I’ve been retired from paying work for 4 1/2 years, and in the past ten years my children have matured from being at university or recently graduated to living across the country from me. So I’ve spent some time getting used to the freedom to devote myself to people and projects of my choice.
Another factor is that many of my friends and family members are in their 70s and 80s and we’re all a tiny bit obsessed with our changing bodies and minds, although in fact they’ve been changing continually throughout our lives.
I’m interested in marking my own changes over the past decade as I reflect on each year, with the following questions. (I might add more questions as I get into the series.)
What happened? What was a significant experience or milestone for me? For my family? How did this affect us?
What was the impact of world events on me, my family, and my community?
What did I gain? … lose? … learn?
Did I come upon any place where “two roads diverged” (with a bow to Robert Frost) and what do I think about the one I didn’t take?
About those violin lessons … I’m still taking them, and I’ll tell you what I’ve learned next week, in Part 1 of the series.
